dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Randomize
