I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Randomize
