Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
