Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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