I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize