Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
