If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
