Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Yo dont text me then not text me
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
