definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
