Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
