I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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