Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize