I CAN MOONWALK!
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
