Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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