Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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