Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
