i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize