The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i've created a new STD.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
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