My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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