I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
