9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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