Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
