i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Operation Purity has been aborted
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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