Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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