great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Randomize
