You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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