As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
