Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
