Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
