I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
