Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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