please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
