That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
