Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
