Who wears a wallet chain?!
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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