Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
