I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
