I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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