And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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