Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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