I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
