I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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