I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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