so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
