I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
