Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
