I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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