Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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