alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
