I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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