i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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