Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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