Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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