i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I will pee on everything he values.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
