shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
