are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize