So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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