yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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