All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize