I just cut my nipple shaving
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
