Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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