All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
