We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
