Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Randomize