6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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