i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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