wanna go halves on a baby?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
