And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I need a hoe opinion
go on
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
