I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
