Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
They have beer where we have blood.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
