guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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