Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
be right there i have to get my cape
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
