were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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