What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just want nice things and good sex
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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